Phonetically Speaking

Have you ever read a book written completely Phonetically?
It's an experience, I'll tell you that.

First off, let's explain what I mean by phonetic writing.
Phonetics (from the Greek: φωνή, phōnē, "sound, voice") is a branch of linguistics that comprises the study of the sounds of human speech. It is concerned with the physical properties of speech sounds (phones).
So, when I say Phonetic writing, what I am referring to would be writing that is written as you would hear it. IE if you were to write a characters speech 'with an accent'. It's the idea that if I were to read the writing out loud, exactly how it is written, i might sound [ish] exactly as that character would.

A wonderous example of this, and the one on which I am now blogging, is the one and only Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.
"Life's boring and futile. We start oaf wi high hopes, then we bottle it. We realize that we're aw gaunnae die, withoot really findin oot the big answers. We develop aw they long-winded ideas which jist interpret the reality ay oor lives in different weys, withoot really extending oor body ay worthwhile knowledge, about the big things, the real things. Basically, we live a short, disappointing life; and then we die. "

[one of the few interesting quotes that didn't contain a slew of swear words and the like.]

The book in itself, is an experience, made all the more 'authentic' [if I am allowed to say that] by the language in which it is written. It is not only dialouge that is written in the Scottish phonetic, but the entirity of the novel - internal monologue, narration etc which really helps to pull you in to the mindset and lifestyle of each of the characters. There is something thatp ulls you in that extra bit with the phonetic that makes the reader feel not only as if they were in the experience, but as though they were on a different level of intimacy with that character - not to mention upholding the authenticity of setting, situation etc within the narrative.

Phonetic written is an underappreciated art, I think. Have you ever tired to write a character with an accent? You probablly just ended up stating that they had a smooth tone, or a brotosh drawl. Writing an entire novel in common day slang, cultural dialect is something else all together. With Trainspotting in particular, it is all about a lifestyle - the characters being various individuals connected to or [more usually] deeply submerged in the drug world of the Scottish poor. Without the language, without the grit and grime of it, the entire narrative would lose it's punch, unravel, and be another fluff piece trying to make a statement about druggies.

Instead it becomes a living breathing story of individuals, of a way of life, that encompasses a mindset with its faults, failings, desires and demands perfectly situated in street pub life of the characters.

Though reading phonetic writing can take a bit of time to get used to, and the first two pages might turn you off - it can be easy to become lost and/or have no idea what is happening, what anyone is saying, and what the heck 'ken' means, I urge you, dear reader, to push through for a little while and I promise the full flavour of the novel the style of writing will not disappoint.

a Note to the Publishing World:

Now I know that this post is going to come across sounding bitter, resentful, and potenially pretentious, but honestly it has to be said.

WHY in the name of all that is good, do publishers think it is a good idea to release complete BUNK?

Seriously.

I am not one to easily hate a book. While I don't necessarily love every single thing placed under my nose (contrary to popular belief) I do enjoy most, and hating a book for hatings sake, is not in the mix. But, if you manage to write a piece of literature that is 900 pages of complete idiocy, I might just have a few words.
Though naming names is essentially pointless, I would like to point out a few things NOT TO DO when writing a book.

I realize that having published a grand total of zero novels, novellas, poems, essays or anything at all what-so-ever my authority is lacking on this subject, but I think the validity of common sense still stands:

If your book is long, make sure there is a REASON it is long. 900 pages is an epic, so if your plot line can be summarized in under a minute, and envolves only one half-hearted plot twist, you can probablly cut out about half of your manuscript. And that isn't to say that back story, detail and the like should be removed - on the contrary - but there is a difference between filler for fillers sake, and actually impactful writing.

On a genre specific note, if you are writing a Fantastical novel (and trust me, I don't hate all fantasy novels on principle - see 'Favourite Book' list) then you BETTER follow a set of rules. I realize that as the author you get to create these rules, and that they may or may not coincide with logic and or the natural laws, but if you intend to do something outside the norm, create a set of standards, a set of laws - the books own logic, and STICK to it. Nothing drives me more crazy then when an author creates or changes rules simply for convenience. As in: JUST KIDDING you thought the mountain was in his way? now he can FLY.
no.
you can't change things like that. If he flys now, he needs to have been able to fly all along, or acquired the skill in some pointed and/or menaingful way. That's just consistancy issues, really.

Gratuitous-ness. Oh my word, there is no point in putting in excessive violence, sex, drugs etc. just for the sake of. Obviously if the writing is specifically about that - see 'Trainspotting' for example - or if it is part of who a character is, it makes sense (its part of life, therefore makes sense) that's fine, but it is when you throw in seven instances of overly explicit scenes that really add nothing to the character development, plot, or story structure in any way shape or form that I might question your reasoning. If it is there just for shock value, what is the point, really? If I can take something out of the story, and it doesn't really effect the story - explain to me, why should it be there? I am not impressed.

And last but not least, EDITING. I've come across this in several of the books I have read recently, and maybe this is also because I have an increasing passion for editing - which sounds outrageous, how can you be passionate about something like that? (maybe the better word is aspirition) - but I find myself spotting the mistakes in things more regularly. One here and there is fine, but if I'm spotting grammar and spelling mistakes every third page, that's a problem. Edit. If you hate editing, or suck at it, hire an editor. [which I'm sure they all did... get a better one] I find this tends to happen more in books that were rushed to press, which makes sense, but is still highly unfortunate.

There are several other things that can make a book unreadable, such as lack of interesting character, etc, but these are just a few that drive me up the wall. It's extra infuriating knowing that there are plenty of good stories out there left unread and unpublished, when things like some of the above alluded to books are read in droves.
Bunk.

The Electronic Debate.

Kindle, Sony, Kobo. Any of these names sound familiar? they are the next generation, or, the side generation, or prehaps even the death of books. So what do we do about electronic book readers? Are they wonderful inovations that will bring new life and new readers to the book world, or do they in fact threaten the world of literature as we know it, fighting and replacing those beloved covers and bindings and forcing your local printing press out of business? That's the debate. I am an avid reader, and I love the feel of pages between my hands, the pungent smell of old yellowing tomes, and the new exciting smell of a best seller straight out of Chapters. IU can't help but to get a feeling of acomplishment and pleasure at bringing home the latest book to add to my collection. I have an extremely full book shelf - organized alphabetically from top to bottom - and crammed so full with my latest purchases that there is literally only room for one or two more books before I expand to a second case. And I love it. I have dreamed of the library I will one day have in the lovely little house I'll probablly never be able to find, and the book collection is starting now. So, why would an electronic book even be worth considering?

Well, for starters, there was a display at Chapters this weekend to promotoe the new launch of Indigo-backed Kobo. The latest e-book reader which has access to the entire chapters library. The device, retailing at only 149$ (a far cry from both the Sony and amazon's Kindle - which sells for 259$ for the 8" version, and 489$ for the larger version which includes twice as much memory.) it is a cheaper simpler device which does exactly what it says it will - allows you to read electronic books, and nothing more, which could be either a good or bad thing, though I like to think it's better - if you want to listen to music, get an ipod, if you want to read electronically, get a Kobo. I must admit the features of the Kindle are pretty awesome, though, but there is a good chance they would go unused by your average reader. Kobo is also a wonder company in that the systems allow you to use books collected from a variety of sources - not specifically "kobo" books - the interconnectivity seems like it would come in quite handy. And it is the only Canadian product, which is a good benefit.

Negatives:
Now an electronic book certainly does not have the benefits of paper books, or at least, not the same esthetics. Bookmarks no longer exist, you cannot feel the book, turn the pages, and have that nice comfort of paper under your fingers. I get such a sense of acomplishment after finishing a book - especially a large book, and feeling the last few pages turn. Actually holding the book and reading it feels a lot more significant when you finish - an accomplishment. Electronic books just don't have that. e-books are also electronic - mening you have to read them on a screen, an unatural surface which isn't really that wonderful for your eyes and a lot of people find it extremely frustrating or difficult to read for long periods of time.

Positives:
Portability. To me, that is basically the one and only main benefit. The e-books are extremely portable and light. They fit in your purse much better than the Lord of the Rings might (trust me, I've tried with my one volume edition) and are a lot lighter on your arm. To think that I could take all the novels necessary for my 5 english courses to campus each day with no more weight than your cell phone, I get a little excited. How awesome would that be? Travel too, would be much easier with a Kobo - you can bring one device, and your entire library instead of using up all your packing space on books. A benefit for sure.
Books are also cheaper, about ha;lf the cost in electronic version, which is a draw for those who don't realy like buying everey book they read for 25$ a hit.

SO, verdict? I don't know. There are uses for both, I think, and you can manage to have a library and an e-book at the same time. Balance. Different devices for different events and activities. I might just have to buy a Kobo. Let's hope it's not literary blasphemy.

Favourited Books

Creating a list of favourite novels or series is a virtual impossibility for an English Major, or book-lover like myself. Most anything can be good for SOME reason, so we narrow it down to the overly wonderful - but even then, what is the rubric, what are the justifications? And, too, in contrast to which other books that have been read - whioch are left out? This one is written well, that one has my favourite character. Another makes me laugh, while yet something else made me cry. Selecting my "favourite" books was not easy by any means, and this list is neither wholly inclusive nor ranked in any specific order, merely those books which strike me as something special out all all books i have read to date. Taking into consideration style, content, character and everything else, I've chosen seven books I'd recommend to anyone.

* The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Series by Douglas Adams.
This series consists of four 'original' books: The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life the Universe and Everything, So Long and Thanks for All the Fish with a later added fifth novel, Mostly Harmless. This latest, Adams stated, was added to provide a more fitting ending, as the series was previously ended during a time of the authors deep depression. Lets just say, read all five.
I chose this series because the books are hilarious, clever, off-beat, and well written. There is something about the smart humour and original plot ideas that is just brilliant. I’ve read them many many times. (I do that, with books I love) and they are still amazing. Each time I find new bits that are wonderful, and pour over my favourite pages again and again.
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

* The Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde.
Let's just say, Fforde is a genius, end of story. The series consists of the novels: The Eyre Affair, Lost in a Good Book, The Well of Lost Plots, Something Rotten and First Among Sequels in that order, all of which feature one Thursday Next. For anyone who loves reading or writing, you have to read these books. Fforde creates THE MOST original world, writing style and plot ideas I have ever read. Ever. He’s a nutter, but a fabulous one. That, and the world he creates is so insanely complicated and detailed – he misses nothing. Each book is intricately connected to the next, and just when you think he's left something out, it gets fully explained later. Not that you'll always understand - his particular brand of genius can be slightly over my head, but not in the 'this is pointless' sense that makes things unreadable the entertainment value reamins. They truly are the most genius books I have read.
“take no heed of her…she reads a lot of books.”

* The Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini.
I was hooked with the very first page. the imagery - the weight of the words, carried so much meaning and so easily stretched to the reader. I cried. I cried a lot. The style of writing is first person, and wonderful. It is a terrible, tragic honest story that holds nothing back and doesn’t sugar-coat anything. The Hero is not always good. In fact, he often does the wrong thing in the most terrible way, and is nothing like a hero at all. And yet, you love him. You love all of them, despite everything, and the pain and guilt and suffering and loyalty just make the whole thing beautiful. Despair is not despair if there is still a flicker of hope, and this story excudes that through wonderuful imagery and relations.
“A smile. Barely there, but there.”

* The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy.
The style, more than anything, is what gets me with this one. This book keeps bringing me back. I find something new and wonderful in it each time, and could quote page after page of beautiful succinct phrases. Somehow her writing is just so poignant and raw. I was truly inspired by the way she presents everything through words, pictures and poetic sticato sentences. I absolutely adore the style, and the story is a beautifully tragic one, all the way to the end.
“Nothing mattered much. Nothing much mattered. And the less it mattered the less it mattered. It was never important enough. Because Worse Things had happened. In the country that she came from, poised forever between the terror of war and the horror of peace Worse Things kept happening.”

* Watership Down by Richard Adams.
I have three copies of this book. I love it so very much, and have read it so many times, the first copy is literally in pieces. It kills me that people say of this "isn’t that that story about rabbits” with such distain... like it’s a kids book. And on that note, why is it in the children’s section of Chapters? Really? I mean, I was young when I first read it - grade 7 probablly, but it’s so much more than that. I just hate to see it reduced to 'another kids book'. Although I love animals, and that whole aspect, this is much more than just a book about some rabbits. It’s about hope, and loyalty, and adventure. About the ways of life, and trust in yourself and your friends. Community. honour... a whole slew of things. Plus, it is very very smart and well written. the characters are relatable, the hardships tragic, and the allegories raw. This book deserves a second look.
“Rabbits need dignity and above all the will to accept their fate."

* A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
I could write for days on this book, and have done, and not just because it is long. Because it is a moving story of pure humanity. The characters are broken down the the very lowest of lows, and yet - and yet some form of hope remains. The story is, yet again, heartbreaking but beautiful. There is one moment, that too me, though quite simple, is just the most unbelievablly tragic thing I may ever had read to date. The portrait of each character - their history, relations, everything is so thurough, so real, and so very believable you can't help but connect with each and every one of them. Fabulous work.
"It is a fine balance, between hope and despair..."

* Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
Consisting of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, Order of the Pheonix, The Half-Blood Prince, The Deathly Hollows.
No, they are not just some books about a wizard.
"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Ink Well

I was recently putting together a Writing Excersice [Competition Style] and was making a list of my top five favourite books. I started thinking about why they were my favourite, and what the best bits were. It's something I tend to do with every book I read. So I figured, why not have others benefit from my thoughts? I force my opinion on people enough as it is, might as well make it useful. So ta-da! here we are. The Empty Ink Well. It's a place for me to spill on the latest and greatest of the book world. From straight-up book reviews to writing tips and techniques. Maybe it'll inspire you to pick something up you'd never thought you would.

"If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution."